ANYTHING ELSE?

I wish every peom I ever wrote was a list of one liners
Lines from your favorite song and lines you wish he was saying

Anything else?

I didn't really know how to answer this question. I never have. This whole year there's been that one little box that I always filled with

Nope
No
Not really
Nope
Maybe

So I asked people for this final anything else, I told them to think of it as their last day, what would the one liner be.


'Anything else?'

Trump vs Hilary take luck
If they didn't know before they know now

'Anything else?'
I'm not really inspirational yo
It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy.
Nope
Sometimes they'll hurt you in ways only you imagined the boogeyman to, or maybe even teach you a lesson you didn't even know needed to be taught.
No way? yes way
Big creeks up little creeks level I plow my corn with the Double shovel.

'Anything else?'
I'll pass
I got nothin
Why be plain when you can be crunchy
Sorry, I fell asleep
Like a fireman who runs to a window who has no fire
I found it, in the crack, face down, stuck
I want everybody to be quiet because this is important
You have the speaker so you  do what you want with the volume.
Drop the mic
I'm dying and I have

'Anything else?'
She caught the ball and said the savior wins!
I have better lines from the other ones that don't really say words
You'll question what types of things you want to dress up to be because of them,
Even what things you'll say like the pitch you need to hit in the solo you don't want to sing.
She's over there there's two of em
Your not a Yahtzee master, that takes 40 years
Just picture a deleted scene from goonies, and look behind the dresser in the attic
Are you leaving us?
If you ever need a show to binge watch, watch arrested development
OK buddy
I'm just not really sure if you guys actually wanted to hear that story or not
Should I add that to my bucket list?
They pretty much got it covered
So when my dad was a little boy
you'll learn lots
But mostly you'll learn it's just important to be the somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.

'Anything else?'
brush off the bee slowly

'Anything else?'
Don't freak out
It's just a bee

'Anything else?'
I am what I am
Illuminati

'Anything else?'
Don't do drugs
Pray for angels
Stay in school

'Anything else?'




'Anything else?'








'Anything else?'











'Anything else?'

















'Anything else?'



















Sometimes they'll hurt you in ways only you imagined the boogeyman to, or maybe even teach you a lesson you didn't even know needed to be taught

But people are more important than music and writing and traveling and food, because my dad has always told me that anything I do alone is better enjoying it with someone else

I found it true that people are my real passion because helping them know their loved by God and me is more important than any song that's ever made me feel anything.

I've feared that day since the day I even knew a day like this could exist

apples. the way they crunch. if that doesnt make you happy then maple donuts or kisses at sunset probably don't either.

apples. the way they crunch. if that doesnt make you happy then maple donuts or kisses at sunset probably don't either. Or opening your eyes to a view, but
sometimes it's not nature or citites, but noticing something you haven't before. today it was realizing that even tho i mess up i'm a generally a good person.

Going back to kindgergarten won't take away my worries
They'll just be different
And that will never change
We just keep wanting to read fast in front of each other and spelling tests will only turn into who has the best test score on things that don't matter
as much as wearing pajamas on pj day

The rainy days that help you realize everyone makes mistakes and it rains so the world can erase them

any moment spent alone can always be better spent with someone else

I'm thankful for feeling pain because it helps me know when I'm feeling good.

I'm thankful for cheering when I'm up and tearing when I'm down because I know I'm feeling and I'm thankful for that.

I'm sorry if rumors have been spread, but I just thought I should tell you as soon as now

My throat is sore today because of the things I didn't say yesterday.

And it's the sandy swimsuits we're all wanting

There's many things in you that the world needs

I'm kind of done pretending life isn't hard and hiding the girl who knows it's not

So here's my blog
Definitely a work in progress but hey pretty much life itself is am I right?
the end

credits////writers
jordan
kimball
jordan
luna
john
seth
lishelle
amberleigh
jake
lauren
hannah


ANNABEL LEE

and peace out lone peak;;; you really are the best and i really am grateful for EVERY experience i got. i am soooo grateful i got to go to lone peak and you should too.


the one liner phrases that mean more to me now than they did before...
KNIGHT FOR LIFE and BECOME ONE.

my motto that i said 1029485 times on the daily... SENIOR YEAR

i just hope i can be motivated like i was to live thius year for the rest of my life. but seriously thanks to everyone,

this classs,
my teachers,
principals,
principles,
parents,
siblings,
friends,
random students in the hall,

but most of all... Sherri berry. thanks Sherri berry. i didn't have a senior quote because i was to scared to be remembered by a one liner. well that is a lie it just didn't make the cut for being appropriate. but then i realized that i didn't want to be remembered by a one liner. but if i had to choose, my quote would now be thanks Sherri berry.



ok one last time... anything else?

i think im done. bye,,,,,,,,

story

long story short... it ends and begins with an embarrassing moment. there are two bird poops, they're out to get me.

short story long.... i needed an embarrassing moment for young womens and shortly after i realized i needed one... i got it. i was in the bathroom and there was a small window with a screen. lets just say this bird had perfect aim... he pooped on me when i was inside. and since the screen was full of tiny holes it splattered everywhere. on the walls, on the tub, toilet, sink and me head to toe. skilled bird right there. fast forward to a football game this year. someone brings birds to the game to let go at a touchdown, i learned a new fact about birds that day... they let go of whats inside of them so they can get higher in the sky. and it landed on me. thanks birds for the great time and embarrassing moments. they were timed perfect. that is why they aren't my favorite animals...

and even tho its weird... they did give us an answer to our problems... in times of trouble.. let it go, and you will fly higher than you were before.

nostalgic

I want the years back
I want those four years back
I made every decision off of what you would do.
What outfit to wear, what perfume I bought, what hallway I sat in, what classes I took, if I was going to go to the basketball game or not.
Let's face it I would have been there anyways... But you were the final pro in everyone of my pro/con lists that always made my decisions.
I just can't believe I spent four whole years of my life
wasted.
And I mean I knew from the beginning. I knew I wasn't going to be with you eventually and that someday I would regret all the time and effort put towards you. But did that change the facts or my mind?
Trust me I tried. And my friends tried too. I tried to forget about you and every detail about you that I remembered. And they tried to tell me all the flaws they noticed in you to make me not like you.
Every morning I woke up and convinced myself that I was done and this was it. But the next time I would see you or something would remind me of you I would realize I lied.
Once there's something or someone you care about than you remember every single thing
Every moment.
Every 'conversation'
Every detail
even if it was absolutely nothing.
And its not like I tried to remember, it just stuck. And I didn't go looking, it just came and I remembered.
I remember what car you drive and every time I see one like it my heart skips one whole beat.
I remember your different plaid shirts and your shoes and hats.
I remember your eyes and your smiles and for some reason they are the hardest to forget.
Because every moment you and I shared I took a picture in my mind. So when I do think about you I have a slide show that goes a million miles a second that never seems to stop.
I am trying to delete the slide show now. I have been working all last night and today on it. I want to wipe the entire hard drive. But I must have locked the file into long term memory and kicked out every president except George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
Most of the file is good though.. Except  there's one slide that sort of kills me inside. It's the last slide. It's the one where everything became a reality. Where I realized in real life. That it really would never happen. And I mean I told you before I knew it wasn't going to happen before. I was 99.99% sure. That it would never happen. But it was all of the false hopes, the nice attitudes, the encouragements, the stories and that .01% that kept me going.
It was the .01% that grew and shrunk constantly. That .01%, that when I saw you and you smiled... Made it feel like a .02%
But it wasn't.
I mean I can't say I know now that you 100% didn't like me. And that it would be like this. I mean if I would have done something before maybe the odds would have been better. But I didn't and you didn't. Now we are graduating and life's changing and you have her so what's the point.

now I'm just left with a  99.99% hurt heart. And 100% nostalgia

but don't worry I'm charging my heart tonight and I'm hoping it will be 100% happy and over you and happy to be over you tomorrow.

blue ticket--beastly

I looked up 'you' in the dictionary and it said beastly
Deciding that, that didn't quite describe you right I looked up beastly in the dictionary too.
It says you are 'very unpleasant'
You have synonyms of vile and hateful and if you used you in a sentence it would say
'This beastly war'
I don't know if this war is between me and you or you and your beast.
And if it is you and the beast then it's probably because you are too much a like.
Like when a father and his daughter are too alike so they fight all the time for all the same reasons and with all the same tones of voice.
There is a word for each letter that defines and changes you
B is for blunt because blunt dull knives are the ones that cut the deepest and fastest
E is for every opportunity that you let slide past you.
A- although E is also for your eyes because it's your eyes that once showed blue with hope and love
S is for shutting people out when you aren't ready to shut people out
T- timing thought to take time throughout the time to talk to think.
LY bc I can't tell you how many lies you've told.
I hate to go all Miley Cyrus on you and say the '7 things' I like too.
But I don't hate you.
It's just harder to love someone
Something
When their eyes no longer show blue but glow red
I wouldn't worry to much.


did you ever see beauty and the beast?
-it's the second definition of you

I wouldn't want to spoil the movie... but I'll give you a hint.
(He turns into a prince in the end)


So yes. You have a beast inside of you.







but there's a prince too.

Heart

dear brain,
I understand you are the one that keeps reminding me to keep beating but please can you slow it down a little. I mean I have been doing what you say because we have been working together for the past almost 18 years to keep her alive. And we have been doing a good job. But you get to sleep at night. I have never understood what that feels like. Nobody knows what I or any other heart really feels like. But they try, I guess.

'Let your heart guide you, it whispers so listen carefully.'

I don't whisper. I am yelling but no one can hear me compared to the thoughts you put in there head.

'If the heart is the strongest muscle than why does it break so easily?'

Hey I try as hard as I can. And when I crack, I fix it before it breaks, I think we should change that to 'can break easily'

'The worst prison would be a closed heart'

But that's ok because you have the key,

I don't feel I am feelings.
-heart

P.s thanks for not giving thoughts of smoking because that's helped me a ton
P.p.s I know this letter makes no sense. I'm kind of just like that. You don't and won't ever really know what I'm saying or feeling. Unless you just try to feel it too.

late reveal but hey it's still a reveal

as my dad would say.....

Do you want to know how to keep a creative writing student in suspense????

I'll tell you later.

Lol jk dude

I'm a girl. Genetically and I also identify as a female. 

I'm Mormon.

I'm 17.

I'm a senior.

I love the words genuine and adore. Their meanings and their sound and pronounciation just everything.

I love swinging on swings and going on drives.

I love to go to museums.

I love to go on bike rides and read.

I love learning.

I love Oreos and peanut butter.

I love movies and everyone who knows me, knows that I speak fluent movie quotes.

I'm in love with Harry Potter. The books, the movies, everything.

I love all types of music from all decades;. Rap, punk, rock, dub step, pop, musicals, Disney, ballads, uplifting, acapella, anything. If it's good music I like it. I don't exclude anything until I listen to it. 

I don't really ever get annoyed of songs like everyone does. If a song plays on the radio like twelve times in one day, I'm still gonna like it tomorrow.

I'm so behind on homework that I have to do work for last term and this term.

My lips are covered in scares that only I'm really able to see, yet it's one of my biggest insecurities.

I'm allergic to make up, lotions, soaps, and penicillin. 

I'm allergic to Chapstick and that's the reason why my lips have scares. And why I have missed so much school. No one would ever guess that one of someone's trials in life could be their lips. My lips are already huge. So it doesn't help that they swell anytime I use a certain Chapstick, or if I stay in the sun too long, or if I'm stressed or anything. Honestly if I walk down the hallway too fast I expect my lips will get bigger than Mars. And when I say swell I'm not talking they get big. I'm talking 'to-heavy-to-close-my-mouth-bounce-when-I-walk-bigger-Everyone's-lips-combined' kind of big. Not to mention they hurt. Not just when they swell. But all the time. My lips hurt all the time. And nobody knows what's causing it. Sometimes I think just cutting off my lips would feel better.

I love all colors but the favorites are grey and rose gold rn.

60% of my clothes are neutrals

I'm obsessed with accessories and clothes.. I love the shoes, purses, hats, sunglasses. (Just not scarves, I hate scarves)

I love to organize and my room is pretty much always clean.

I love being involved. I love going to every activity that is offered by anything. (Even school assemblies...)

I am a complete night owl and I wish I wasn't.

I have been a late night owl my whole life. And when I say night owl you guys think I'm going to bed at like midnight maybe one. When I go to bed that early I'm like wow! I got to bed way early! Yeah those are my good nights. I have tried so hard to go to bed early and I always can only fall asleep at 2:30-4:30-later. I can confidentally say that I have my gone to bed earlier than 11:00 in like the past 2 years. And it's been this way my whole life.

I love everything to do with art and singing. 

I do not share my talents or anything with other people. Because I don't want to have too, but sometimes I wish that people would just know what I was good at. Because it's not always fun to stay in the background and let other people take over. And that's the thing. Is... People who aren't afraid to shove there talents in other people's faces and show off what they got and sing whenever someone's in ear distance or enter every art contest in the state, they make it. The ones who show people there talents, are the ones that people know are talented. But I just can't get myself to be that person.

I love just living life and playing what are the odds and boards games and watching movies and screaming to the top of my lungs when I'm in the canyon and I'm afraid of so much but I still live.

So.... I mean there's more but this is what t is right now.

So I guess this works

Umm... Here I am.

Hannah Simpson 

life and death

Well I guess there is really only two things to right about. Life and death. I think it's a little more than that. Yeah if you go to the deepest part, like the very very most basic categories of what you could write about it is just life and death. But I think to write it has to be more. I mean not that I know anything about writing. But when I read something and I like it.... There's more. There is always more. There's more to just living and dying. There's more to the stuff in between.

Life and death

There are 7.125 billion people on this earth
There are 310,383,948 people in the USA
153,139,563 of those are male
And 157,244,385 , are female.

That's 7.215 billion people living and dying everyday.

I know numbers don't prove anything.

One day I was with my mom in the store. She was saying to pick a treat (yes, I am 17.)
And we were talking about how bad food is. My moms sayI'm all this stuff like 'oh that's bad for you' 'I here that's made from somethings bad' 'our bodies aren't suppose to have that' and after a couple of minutes of her saying this she turns to me and said ' you know what? We are all going to die anyways. Might as well eat what you want while you can.'

True statement. WE ARE ALL DYING. Some faster than others.... But yes we are all dying.

SO WHY SIT HERE AND TALK ABOUT DEATH AND HOW WE ARE ALL GOING TO WHILE WE CAN LIVE.

that's just what living is about. You just live. So if you all thought there was some secret to life sorry to break it to you. Live while you can.

So....

Buy the shoes
Eat that chocolate
Wear those blak
Watch the movie even though it's late
Don't be afraid to have fun
Dance as hard as you can even tho they can see you
Sing as loud as you can even tho their listening
And scream too
Sing
Dance
Smile
Laugh
Do all you can
To
LIVE.

b/c we are all gonna die anyway

fear

a list of things I was afraid to say;;;;

To most people:
-hey
-hi
-hey, what's up?
-how's it going?

How can I stand up and dance crazy in front of people in my class when I'm alone. Because to be honest you scare me. She scares me. Those three girls scare me. That girl does too. And so does he and her and him and they and she and he and you. Maybe it's not you that I'm afraid of but its what you think, that's scary. But I don't really know if that's it because I really don't care what you think. And if I want to wear crazy socks some day I would. And I will and I do. So I don't know what I fear about any of you. Maybe it's that if I hula hoop in front of you guys my shirt would bunch up in a weird way, because honestly I'm a great hula hooper. I can't juggle but that's not why I feared the tennis balls. I'm a great at dancing and pretending to be a rockstar. To bad I couldn't show you my moves. The thing is you don't realize you're afraid of anything until you experience it. I had a huge list of things I was afraid to say and I was about to post it but then I got scared. So I deleted it and started over.

Well I'm afraid of spiders. It's even hard for to type that word let alone see one. Yeah and when I do?no it's over. I am. I know lots of people are. But you don't understand I'm 'afraid' of them. Like I 100% will scream and cry and do whatever I have to do in order to get someone to kill it. And frankly it bothers me when people are all "save it! No don't kill it! Here I'll take it outside!" I'm like... No kill the dang spider. In fact I remember when I was little, my parents don't know this but, I remember seeing them type and research 'how to help child get rid of fear of spiders' and 'arachnophobia' in the computer. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of heights. I'm afraid of doing crazy and adventurous things because what if I can't keep up with all the other crazy adventurous people. I'm afraid of conversations when I don't have anything left to say. I'm afraid of people recognizing that I wore these pants yesterday and did she not brush her hair? I'm afraid of people gossiping and of it being about me. I'm afraid of left turns into busy streets with no mid lane. During the winter I'm scared that spring will never come. And I fear every year that my coat from 9th grade won't fit me anymore. I'm afraid to follow people first on Instagram and I am too scared to post unless it's the right time of day and the right picture with the right caption. You would be surprised by how many blog drafts I have but never posted because I was scared. And by how many times I have rewritten them. I'm afraid of disappointing my parents and grandparents. I'm afraid of drinking caffeine without my mothers permission and I don't go up the canyon alone. I'm scared of the bishoprics office. I don't know why. I have never done drugs, I have never broken the law of chastity, I'm always modest, I don't drink coffee or beer, I don't even swear or lie or gossip. Yet, every time I go to the bishoprics office I feel like I am the lost soul in the ward that needs saving from all their sinning. I'm afraid of graduation day. I'm afraid I'll trip or I'll look funny in the big tarp and hat they make us wear. I'm afraid that it will be real. I'm afraid I'm going to get up in the morning and forget my name. I'm afraid I'm going no to get up in the morning and be paralyzed. I'm afraid of climbing trees and talking to boys. I'm afraid of listening to a song with my mom or sisters and having it swear. I'm afraid that I will never have money and never have a car and I'm afraid of having to pay off a billion student loans and never have the feeling of being free from money and the problems it brings.

When it comes down to it... I'm afraid of a lot more than I thought I was. I'm afraid and your afraid. We are all afraid of something. But have you ever that saying 'fear is motivation'? Well I have. And it makes me realize... It's the fear and the lack of fear the makes the world go around. So it's okay to be afraid.

a picture's worth a 1000 words

so here's 6000 words

  

 

 

all my crayons were different colors

I remember a lot.
I remember when times were a little bit simpler yet a little bit more hectic.
I remember my 20+ boyfriends in elementary.
I remember sitting in my room in front of my mirror explaining to myself why I loved the color pink so much.
I remember lunchtime when everyone would give me there pickle cups because I was the only one that liked them. Or pretending that I ate the skin to the kiwis that sometimes replaced the pickles on our trays.
I remember that one girl who loved cats so much she would sit in the corner and hiss until she got what she wanted... once I played with her and she made me drink milk.



My cousin used to hate milk. He would have water on his cereal and I was convinced that he was cool.
I wanted to be picky. I wanted to be picky about tomatoes and onions. I wanted to be pickier than the boys finger in my fourth grade class.

Although, he was cool too.

I remember when he liked me so much that he couldn't figure out a better way to tell me other than kissing my elbow in front of the class.
I also remember when I 'broke up' with him.
Him and his brother pulled out their bee bee guns and chased me out of the house.
You could say he needed a new way to express his feelings.

But I thought he was cool.

I thought she was cool because she shaved her legs at age 7. And her mom was cool because she got in a fight with a lady with braids, and because she didn't let us chew gum in her house.

They were cool because they were in my band. We were the 'Angelz'. Until I wrote the songs and they kicked me out. But that's ok because I saved all the good lyrics for my solo career.

We threw plums at cars, sold overpriced rocks with sap spread on top and mud pots with dried cracks. But it was ok.

Cuz we were cool.

We were as cool as the sprinklers we played in on the above 70 degree day, because if it was below 70 the neighbors couldn't play.

We were as cool as our sledding hills that we named "titanic" and "twilight zone" because they were the scariest.
And they were the scariest until one day the easiest hill made the kitty korner girl slide under the truck and the easiest hill became "danger".
But danger was our forte as we sat in the claustrophobic closet down the hall that was only big enough for two coats, until we made it big enough for our dreams of becoming astronauts.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!


Off went the lights when the bishop told us to conserve energy.
Off went my favorite pregnant tree out of the ground when it got to big and grew its roots to deep into our pipes.

But that was cool because it gave me a story to tell on the bus ride to school.
I had a lot more stories than anyone could guess.
There were the stories I would tell about the town trouble maker who would sit in front of my house and pretend there was string going across the street to make cars stop with a loud screech.
There were the stories I kept a secret about my adventures with jack that just so happened to involve our lips.
There were a lot of those.
There were some when we were two. Some when we were three. And some from then to six. But they stopped when we became to old for the embarrassment when our sisters would spy and tell.



Sometimes I wish they never stopped.
Because now it would be to different to start again.

Because now it's different to express your feelings in an open way. Because now it's different to be picky in food and picky in clothes and picky in nose.

Because now if I told you I wanted to be an astronaut you would be expecting a pretty good report card and research behind that decision.

That's what's different.

That back then we were asked what.
Now we are asked why.

When we were little we could do anything and be anything with no explanation why.

But now I have to explain why I have crayons and why I didn't take my crayons out before and why I took them out the way I did and why I chose this color and why I'm drawing that and why I'm not coloring inside or outside the lines and why I'm taking them out now.

Why?

Because I realized taking my crayons out now is easier than taking my crayons out later.

Later when the question is no longer what and no longer why,

but when?

eating salsa and reading your creativity

(do robots eat salsa?) 
i finally figured out how to read everyone's blogs. and i think that im going to be doing that for the rest of my life. www.writersparis.com , creative , writers , read , feel content with life.

i think i have mastered the salsa to chip to sour cream ratio. yummy

clicking and scrolling with my right hand and dipping with my left. sounds like this is going to be a good day

.......there is no undo button and that's what is so incredible.

.......They say old love doesn't rust.
       Maybe old love is all I want,
       to live and to die holding her hand.

.......sometimes you have to taste defeat and then brush your teeth.



dip, lift, crunch.


.......  I cant read this line because its yellow.

..........But there are things I see and smell that I haven't  stopped to spend time with. 
             Wheat bread and worn out shoes.
..........If you hate to love or love to hate then that makes you a hater regardless of the               fact that you are a lover of hate 


dip, lift, crunch.


.......how dare you.

........I'm running out of illnesses to fake to get out of school. 

            Tricking my mom that I'm sick so I don't have to tell her that my heads just too dark and cloudy today. 

            Lately that's everyday. 

            I feel like I was born missing a layer of skin

            Because every part of me is a little too sensitive.

.......rfelkjsdzmshfjme;cdoaelwkrzhgfbn kndkjfsuoiersdklsj cENRSFKLUDJFOIJAW4UE                ..     ..............GRFHSDKJBDSDWEOIURYBFHJDLKNEIOWRUGYFHJKBDKSEWOIRHUBFJKDNEWHROIUFGDKBJKEIRUHI.               OFGJB;IEKRSFDN;IHKFRHIULKJEHIUEFIJOIJO;IJJIJR

    PRETTY MUCH HOW MY BRAIN FEELS RIGHT NOW...

dip, lift, crunch.

.......i have learned that there is so much more to life than simply surviving          it.

..........I'm not a robot because if I were, I would be able to tell my heart to shut up and it would listen

............cover your eyes so you cant see anything.

.............Be broke, because you paid for their love.

             Be rich, because you have their love. 

............no, i'm not a robot.

          i'm a miracle

dip, *clank* , *look down*

dang it im out of salsa. 

goes to fridge.

frowns.

no salsa left.

closes fridge. 

walks away.

wait. hmmmmm

walks back. opens fridge.

smiles

we have whipped cream.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyznowiknowmyabcsnexttimewontyousingwithmeabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyznowiknowmyabcsnexttimewontyousingwithme.........fluxandflow......salsa......food.......i am aiming for the longest title in the whole world to we are going to see if thus bar cuts me off at 250 characters long.

Longest title in the whole world #different

Blues are ok

Today I had an apifany. I don't know how to spell that but it still means the same thing. I realized that yeah I am a happy person and people know that. But right now.. I think I could be slightly depressed. I say slightly because it's hard to admit. Especially when I know people will see this post. And even though it is anonymous just the fact that someone knows that I might be really sad but no one can tell.  I just realized that I'm not motivated. I don't want to do anything and I can't seem to get out of a hole in the ground that just keeps getting bigger and deeper and I'm not sure if I will ever see the latter or stairs right behind me. Because I know they are there and that there is a way out. For right now I think I'm going to stay here for a little. Because I'm tired and when I'm sad sleep is a good thing. Because feelings are a good thing to feel and recognize. Being sad is ok. I realized this when for some reason I felt like there was a huge ocean wave storm being my eyes and if I make any sudden movement it is going to break through the walls made of eyes and tear ducts. And I still feel that way now. It's good to feel sad and feel like you need to cry. It's good to feel happy and joyful. It's good to feel things. Because feelings are reminders that our heart is working. I know that a heart is a little bit different meaning than what I'm saying. But I literally believe that you can physically feel things in your heart. I have felt sadness, happiness, comfort, love and many more feelings in my literal heart. So the next time you feel something, try and feel it deeply and in your heart. Just do it. Because no matter the emotion it always feels better when felt through the heart.

buggin & apologeez

I decided I don't care. Well I have been stressed about this class 100% all the time and I still am. I don't know how to make things poetic or meaningful. I don't know the exact spellings and grammar. I don't know how to make my blog look cool and have everyone look forward to my posts. Everyone says just write your feelings and somehow it will make sense. Well all I write probably won't make sense to anyone. It bugs me that I have to sit at my phone for hours before I can even think of anything to right. It bugs me that even though people are just trying to be nice and comment on my blogs... That they still do not know what I'm saying. I'm writing down crap about feelings and stuff but I feel like I'm making those up just to make somebody feel something. Yeah I'm jealous of t siblings and their accomplishments in life but It really doesn't matter to me that much. Then people are saying "just keep on pushing on!" "Your doing great" yeah I have trials and have hard things going on in my life as much as you. But I don't care to let others know that I'm going through them. Well everyone wants to feel love and feel that they are cared for. And of course I want that too. I just want to start over because I feel like a lot of stuff I have written about was fake. I mean it was real but it was exaggerated to be fake. And the one thing I wrote in my journal of what I wanted my blog to be was I want it to be real. So this is me apologizing and starting fresh and telling you I am going to be real and when I'm mad I will write a mad post and when I'm sad I will write a sad post and when I'm happy I will write a happy post. Even when I am in love. I'm going to try and make the most of this class. Because right now I'm not going to lie, I really don't like it and have even thought about transferring out of it. But it was to late.. But I'm sure there is more to what I see... So I promise to try and not just be mad and stressed all the time about this class. Because creativity is creativity and you can't be creative if your not willing to be creative. And this is creative writing after all.

house of brick

There was a house. A house of brick. Now this brick house was not your ordinary brick house. The bricks were red and orange and they all seemed to point to the front door. The doors did not open or close. It seems to be locked from both the inside and outside. In fact. All the windows were boarded up with string and glue and they could be opened but nothing seemed to be able get in or out. Now I know what your thinking. But if you can't get in or out.... then what's the point of the house? And has anyone ever been inside of it? Well the answer to your questions are this. No. No one has seen inside of this house. But if they did then they would see something's very strange but somehow pleasing to the eye. They would see that this square house had 7 rooms and every room had something unique. Most of them had 5 walls supporting and some only 2. Only one had a closet and one had a shoe,.... Painting. 3 out of 7 had a sink or a drawer and 4 of them were all only in black and white. But each one had something quite similar. And these similarities made all the difference. They all had a painting of a brick. One blue one purple and one with orange paint splattered. Some were 3d and some said meaningful words. One designed as a clock with a timer to strike when it hit third hour. But the room called future had the most interesting and disturbing sight of all. It was a brick. Whether it was screwed or nailed in or even glued or taped does not matter. Because it was a brick and it hung on the wall with some meaning that rings true to the rats which roamed the brick house and couldn't see what's on the top of the brick. As you and the rats are all wondering what was balancing ever so gently on that brick. And wishing and hoping that I will tell you. You will realize that not even I know. For we are all in the dark. In the dark in this house with no way in or out. But I will give you some comfort in knowing that the architect knows. For he created that brick house with no openings and closings. And he was the one who placed the secret on the brick. It doesn't matter whether he created the house with a blu print or 2. Or maybe with a hammer and a nail. All that matters is that he built the brick house and he built it with a purpose. And even though he knows that probably no one will be able to get in and see the brick and the mystery on top, he's proud of the brick house. And the brick inside. There was a house. A house of brick. And inside that house was no ordinary house. There was a brick. And not even the brick knew what he was holding up.

check yes or no. (Love...)

Someone once gave me their love notes. Well they didn't know we're giving them to me. But they threw a paper airplane in clas hoping it would land on someone hot. Because they said meet me at the knight @ 12:20. All I'm saying is i hope they weren't waiting there all of lung because there is no way I'm going anywhere near the knight. I promise there was a point for this... The mystery person who by the way could still be waiting for someone at the knight said the definition of love is a four letter word and it's something that means more to those who hear it than those who say it.

I don't know the right definition or if there is only one definition or many of love. I don't know if I have ever been in love. The only taste of love I have gotten is movies, Oreos, and family. I don't know maybe I have but I just don't want to admit it? I do love lots of people but the real love?... the thing I have closest to it is probably loyalty.

I have had a lot of crushes, I have had all the kisses under the playground. And secretly passing notes saying "do you love me?   Circle your answer.  Yes or no" yes love is love and love is all the same. Yeah it's different but it's the same. Because when I look at him it's the same feeling as when I got the note back and yes was circled. I wish it was easy now as back then. When I liked someone I just had to wait until they kicked my shins for confirmation. I guess it's goods that it's not the same as it used to be.... Because that would be weird if we all went around kicking shins and passing notes. And then once we decided to be in love we would only look at each other from across the commons and say to our friends "go tell him this". Back then love was innocence. So what is love now

Love is important. Love is kind. Love is relationships and struggles. Love is genuine. Love is fake, fate, and faith. Love is serendipitous. Love is that fortunate accident. Love is understanding something for the first time. Love is once upon a time, and happy endings. Love is tragic.
Love is every movie scene. Love is princes and princesses. Love is sacrifice. Love is sharing. Love is saving the bagel, knowing they won't know you did. Love is serving and giving. Love is receiving. Love is gratitude. Love is compliments. Love is all the good and the bad. Love is the flaws. Love is forgiveness.

ode to hats

I apologize for being late on my blog posts all the time. every time i even think about writing a blog post or in my journal my stomach wants to vomit. and the rest of my body agrees.

"I just met this girl! She wears a hat full of... air!" 
"Do you mean she puts on 'airs'?"
"I guess so." 
"Thats just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy,
 hold your pinky up like this! 
The higher you hold it, the fancier you are!"


im a sun hat.
i sit on your sandy hair,
and smell the salty air. 

im a ball cap. 
i watch baseball all day,
and dont listen to what the refs have to say.

im a visor.
i block the sun from your eyes,
but your heads still hot.

im a hat. 
no matter what kind of hat i am. im always covering up something. whether its the sun from your eyes or the greasy hair that you just cant wash yet. 
but hats are good.
they are the best of friends. 
so tip your hats and thank your hats.
cheers
to the hats.