buggin & apologeez

I decided I don't care. Well I have been stressed about this class 100% all the time and I still am. I don't know how to make things poetic or meaningful. I don't know the exact spellings and grammar. I don't know how to make my blog look cool and have everyone look forward to my posts. Everyone says just write your feelings and somehow it will make sense. Well all I write probably won't make sense to anyone. It bugs me that I have to sit at my phone for hours before I can even think of anything to right. It bugs me that even though people are just trying to be nice and comment on my blogs... That they still do not know what I'm saying. I'm writing down crap about feelings and stuff but I feel like I'm making those up just to make somebody feel something. Yeah I'm jealous of t siblings and their accomplishments in life but It really doesn't matter to me that much. Then people are saying "just keep on pushing on!" "Your doing great" yeah I have trials and have hard things going on in my life as much as you. But I don't care to let others know that I'm going through them. Well everyone wants to feel love and feel that they are cared for. And of course I want that too. I just want to start over because I feel like a lot of stuff I have written about was fake. I mean it was real but it was exaggerated to be fake. And the one thing I wrote in my journal of what I wanted my blog to be was I want it to be real. So this is me apologizing and starting fresh and telling you I am going to be real and when I'm mad I will write a mad post and when I'm sad I will write a sad post and when I'm happy I will write a happy post. Even when I am in love. I'm going to try and make the most of this class. Because right now I'm not going to lie, I really don't like it and have even thought about transferring out of it. But it was to late.. But I'm sure there is more to what I see... So I promise to try and not just be mad and stressed all the time about this class. Because creativity is creativity and you can't be creative if your not willing to be creative. And this is creative writing after all.